OOPSIE DOOPSIE

I never knew what my lady friends meant by experiencing mama guilt when they went back to work after the birth of the babe. I was so fortunate to not get a taste of that sour feeling. Believe me, I was {and still am} grateful. At just six weeks, my little lady started attending an amazing school with great staff members and wonderful friends. At the same time, I started back to work in a career field that I love and enjoy. Win-win, I’d say. Guilt free.

Now, as she starts to get older and becomes this little person that forms complete sentences, shares feelings and uses her imagination during play, I’m treasuring our moments together more and more. But then it happened. Out of nowhere. OUCH. Just like that, I had my first p•a•n•g of mama guilt over the long 4th of July holiday weekend.

I kept thinking to myself how she is growing up so fast. I get it – she’s not running off to college anytime soon, but there were a few moments over the weekend when she was talking to me, playing or just sitting, I looked at her it and it hit me with how fast it all goes. She looked older. She behaved older. She giggled older. She’s older.

In a blink of an eye this little itty bitty grew into a toddler. A mover and a shaker that is my princess/athlete/miss manners/miss messy. I blinked and all this happened. When did this happen? Was I there? Did her little friends and awesome teachers get all the great stuff? Does she think of me as much as I think of her? There is no pause button and I can’t rewind time. The guilt of missing moments won’t hang around – I won’t let it.

I’m thankful for the long weekends and relaxing evenings that are gifted to us so we can reconnect and know that we existed in these beautiful moments that will be a treasure forever.

So, until I get to scoop her up again, I’ll just be that mom that stares at pictures of her little daughter…