OOPSIE DOOPSIE

In the words of Dolly Parton, Gimme some straight talk, straight talk – and hold the sugar please. {The movie was hilariously wonderful as well…}

I’m starting a new little feature on this here blog called “Straight Talk”. A topic will be selected. From my point of view. Comments and discussion welcome. No apologies given.

Right now, I’m talking about marriage. The “until death do us part” stuff. The forever and ever. Eternity. Always.

Terms that seemed ethereal at the end of the first date now may sound, at times, just simply exhausting.

Do I love my husband? Yes. Head-over-heels, in fact. More today than at the end of that very first ethereal date. However, some days…DAMN. Some days seem like forever. Literally. And forever will not end. Nope. {And I know he would say the exact same.}

During our marriage, which is essentially still in the toddler stage, we’ve definitely learned a few things, experienced a life-changing moment or two, and continued  onward and upward on this crazy journey. Crazy. Journey. TOGETHER.

+ First date butterflies will go away. They will not return. Don’t look for them when they aren’t there. Instead, wait for the next round of butterflies. Like when he makes dinner for the first time, hangs up clothes in the closet, changes the oil in your car, or holds your newborn for the first time. The renewal butterflies will be there. And they are so much better.

+ Sometimes you just need to fight. Whether the reason for the argument is valid or not, sometimes you both reach a boiling point. That’s fine, healthy and normal. Get it out. I’m not one to pretend that my relationship is all sunshine and light. Shoot – even Nicholas Spark’s relationships had hard times. The reality is that couples fight. Just remember to fight fair. In the end, whether it’s 10 minutes later or 10 hours later, the make-up will be with the person that has agreed to faithfully fight with only you until death do you part.

+ Time apart never felt so good. Don’t get me wrong – I love spending alone time with the hubs. It’s quite fantastic. But do you know what is also fantastic? Me time. Just me. Or maybe with some of my girlfriends. This time apart from your other half is so important in order to maintain your own identity. Sure, you’re part of a team now, but you are still an individual with your own likes, hobbies and interests. And friends. Don’t forget any of it. Instead, you should still actively nurture what you love outside of your marriage. In the end, this will definitely strengthen and intensify that alone time. Don’t be the couple that only exists as a couple. {Inside secret – no one is ever envious of the couple that spends 100% of their free time together. It’s frightening and I guarantee other couples quite possibly feel sorry for you.}

+ You will always have a partner, a teammate, and at sometimes, a boss. OR what feels like a boss. Oh, calm down, already. Both of you may be guilty at one time or another giving orders, most likely without even realizing it, or taking it upon yourself to actually do things that you think are perfectly sane but will eventually drive your partner up the wall.

Let’s talk about me and the hubs. What drives me bananas? When he moves my shoes. What this says to me? You are a messy lady that needs to be cleaned up after or else you will go crazy and make everything else a mess. But what’s the reality? You are a messy lady and I’m trying to help you keep all that at bay for the benefit of all of us. And so I don’t trip. Obviously. Is he doing it maliciously? I like to think not. Will he continue to do this even if I tell him not to? Yes. Will it continue to drive me bananas? Sure thing. Is it an ender? Absolutely not. Why? Because it’s SHOES! He’s taking the lead on something that needs to get done and will ultimately help us in the end. A simple example, but one that can make you remember that as long as you understand the end goal of what you are both trying to accomplish.

What other realities should be included? Be sure to share in the comments!

(Hi, bubbs! HEARTS)